A Shot at a Heart
by Th3-c4ts-m30w
Summary: Lovino is the grandson of the head of the mafia. Antonio is an assassin hired to kill him. However, his plan to off lovino goes horribly awry, and he ends up being coerced into being one of lovino's bodyguards. He can handle risking his life on a day-to-day basis, but when he begins to fall head over heels for the Italian, can he risk his heart?
1. Mission Failed

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia nor any of it's characters.

* * *

**Day: December 1**

**Location**:** roof top of a random building**

Antonio flexed his fingers around his M24 sniper rifle, attempting to regain feeling in the digits after sitting out in the freezing cold temperatures. He gazed through the guns scope, shifted around, and finally settled on a young man sitting in the cafe caffè pomeridiano.

Lovino Vargas, or as he liked to call him, his next target.

The young man was the oldest son of the boss of the Mafia or so Antonio had heard. From what Antonio could tell through his scope, the cafe the man was currently occupying was empty besides him and four burly men dressed impeccably. If that wasn't suspicious, then Antonio would give up his job as an assassin, become a stockbroker, and change his name to Lenny.

Studying the four men, he thought critically, "_Those must be his body guards. They don't look too sharp and should be easy to take out."_

Just as Antonio was about to pull the trigger and take the bodyguard closest to him out, he saw all the guards jerk upwards and stand quickly, hurrying Lovino away and towards the back of the shop.

Antonio felt a fluttering of panic slip into his stomach. He didn't know when the next time he would be able to get this close to his target, especially if they caught on to his plans for the Italians fate. If he didn't get this done, who knew what his Boss would do.

Quickly adjusting the guns aim to the back of the bodyguard at the rear of the pack guarding Lovino, he pulled the trigger with a renewed focus and watched the man crumple into a heap. Another guard took his place, and Antonio shot him down as well. Aiming for the head of the third, he watched as the guard dropped like a sack of stones.

Just as he set his sights on the fourth and final guard, Antonio heard a click and a voice materialized from some place behind him.

"Move away from the gun. Now." Heeding the gruff voice with a german accent behind him, Antonio slid backwards on his stomach.

"Now, stand up and turn around slowly." Moving like a snail stuck in molasses, Antonio stood and faced the man speaking. The man looked just like he sounded: strict, powerful, and serious. With slicked-back blonde hair, stern blue eyes, and a frown that would have frightened a lesser man, he definitely looked like someone you wouldn't to get on the bad side on.

The man approached carefully and looked Antonio up and down, searching for any sign of a possible attack.

"Do you have any more weapons?"

"No," Antonio said truthfully.

"Will you come along peacefully?"

"No," this time, Antonio smirked.

"Well, if that's how you're going to be..." The man trailed off as he got closer and closer to Antonio. When he finally arrived in front of the Spaniard, he let out a soft sigh and said in a quiet, almost flummoxed, tone "Why do they never want to come along quietly? It would make my job so much simpler."

The stranger then did something that completely surprised Antonio; He pistol whipped him. Hard.

As black spots danced across Antonio's vision and warm blood trailed down the side of his head, he fell to one knee. He heard the man take a step closer and prepared for another blow, and was not disappointed.

This time, Antonio collapsed as his sight began to blur. He felt himself be picked up, and instead of the rooftop he had previously been seeing, he saw the bright blue, cloudless sky.

As the man carried him, Antonio's eyesight grew dimmer and dimmer. Just as the man wrangled the rooftop door open, Antonio succumbed to the beautiful world of darkness with one last conscious thought.

_Boy, I sure fucked up this time._

* * *

**Date: December 1**

**Location: Inside caffè pomeridiano**

_Damn, I'm out of coffee._

Lovino let out a sigh, and shifted back in his seat. He stared at the ceiling and closed his eyes, wishing he could be somewhere else, someplace anyplace besides right here.

By right here, Lovino didn't just mean his regular cafe, caffè pomeridiano. He meant here, New York City, surrounded by danger he never wanted or bargained for.

He didn't like being surrounded by body guards or being constantly targeted. He wasn't as strong as most would believe, with him being the head of the Mafia son and all. He'd even admit- to only himself, of course- that he cowardly.

He'd much prefer a quiet life with his brother in some distant land where no one would bother or come after him.

Suddenly, he felt a sense of resolve wash over him. He wasn't going to wish for it. He was going to make it happen.

However, Lovino was snapped out of his thoughts when the sound of multiple chairs screeching on the tiled ground sliced through the silent air. The four men surrounding him stood and yanked him to his feet, before practically shoving him towards the back room of the cafe.

"Wait, what is go-" Lovino began to say but was cut of by the body guard in front of him.

"Sniper spotted. We have to get you to a safe location, sir,"and as soon as he said that, the body guard behind Lovino dropped like a fly. Lovino gulped as fear seized him, and his heart began to race.

_I'm too young to die._

The bodyguard on his right side moved to the back but was taken down just like the first guard.

_I'm too young to die._

Unexpectedly, the guard to his left fell to the ground as well.

_**I don't want to fucking die!**_

And with that, Lovino put on a burst of speed and busted into the kitchen of the cafe, breathing heavily. Leaning against the counter, Lovino tried to catch his and calm his speeding heart. A tense silence fell over the room.

"Sir, the assassin has been detained and is being taken to the House. Would you like to go home as well?" The last guard spoke, effectively breaking the silence.

"I guess so," Lovino said, at a loss for what else to say.

"The car is in the alley beside this building. Leave through that side door," he pointed at a grey door located next to the stove on the right wall, "and the driver will take you home." Lovino nodded his head and approached the door. As he pulled the handle, he looked over his shoulder at the guard.

"T-thanks for… saving my life."

"I didn't do anything. It was the guys who are staining the floor out there red who saved your life," the guard said, sounding as dead as the guards "staining the floor out there red".

Lovino let out a mute sigh and left through the door. He got into a black, inconspicuous car with tinted windows- no doubt bullet proof- and leaned his head back against the seat as the driver headed towards his house.

He felt a lone tear slip down his cheek and quickly wiped it away. Crying would do no good, but only one thought controlled his mind at that moment. One earth-shattering, soul-shaking thought.

_I almost died._


	2. Toppled Chairs and Troublesome Brothers

**Date: Unknown**

**Location: Unknown**

Darkness. That was what Antonio was first aware of when he awoke.

It wasn't the typical darkness one experiences. Not like the kind when a person goes outside at night or turns out the lights in their rooms. No, this kind was the type that snuffed out every light. The type filled with coldness and hopelessness; fear and desperation; loneliness and sadness. The type that would make a person think and think and think until all they could focus on was regret, fear, and the eternal question of "How things could have gone differently".

The type that would drive a man crazy before long.

'_Maybe that was their plan,_' Antonio thought with an internal humorless laugh. '_Not a bad idea, actually.'_

Besides the darkness, Antonio could feel the frigid metal of handcuffs around his wrists, keeping them pinned behind his chair and causing his arms to scrape painfully against the rough wood of the back of the chair. He jerked his wrists to test the resistance of the metal cuffs, creating pain in his raw wrists. They were remarkably strong.

'_Damn, if only I hadn't left my lock pick and flexibility in my other pants then I might actually be able to get out of these.'_

Antonio was proud of himself for retaining a sense of humor in times such as these.

Taking stock of his body, he made sure no body parts had been taken. He counted 10 fingers and toes, a sore head with all of its features, and from what he could feel, all of his insides. '_So they haven't tried anything yet. Probably'_

During this mental checklist, he had begun to wriggle around slightly. The chair began to rock, but Antonio was oblivious. As his fidgeting became more erratic, the chair began to tip, and with a clatter, it toppled backwards. His fall caused him to smash his head against the unforgiving cement floor, and the dull throb in his skull came back full force.

'_Fantástico, they must have given me a defective chair."_

Laying like turtle stuck rolled on the back of its shell, Antonio really couldn't see how his situation could get any worse. He was injured, tired, cold, and stranded on his back.

His stomach growled.

And apparently hungry.

_'Can't a guy catch a break?'_

All of a sudden, the clanking of metal mechanisms filled the room, startling Antonio out of his inner monologue. Bright light filled the room as a previously hidden door opened and blinded Antonio. The silhouette of a person blocked out most of the light filtering through the doorway, providing Antonio relief from the harsh rays. However, the man's features were shadowed, and Antonio couldn't get a good look at him.

"Why in the fuck did you knock yourself over?" The stranger asked in a loud, brash tone.

"I didn't mean to. It's not my fault I'm sitting in a broken chair," Antonio let out a sigh. "Would you at least help me up?"

"Hmm, let me think about it." The man fully entered the room. "Why should the amazing me help out an idiot like you?"

"Because it's the right thing to do."

"I'm part of the _Mafia. _You are an _assassin. _Neither of us usually do the '_right thing_'." Despite saying that, the man did approach Antonio- albeit slowly- and lift his chair back into an upright position. He let out a grunt at weight of Antonio and the chair, but the stranger was obviously strong.

"Thanks. I was starting to think I'd die with minimal pain." The man laughed.

"We wouldn't want that, now would we? Wouldn't be good for the Boss, that's for sure."

Antonio and the man stood-and sat- in silence as the seconds ticked by, both clueless as to what to say next. Abruptly, the stranger stood straighter and seemed to be listening to something intently. Nodding his head once, the man began heading back towards the doorway, leaving Antonio in a state of bewilderment.

The man stopped right as he was about to cross the threshold of the door. With the increased lighting, Antonio could finally notice the man's odd appearance. '_White hair? Red eyes? This guy's albino! That's not very inconspicuous. Where does the Mafia find these guys?'_

"Someone is on their way to interrogate you, so be prepared. I like you, so it wouldn't be good for you to die. You wouldn't be able to bask in my presence if you did."

"Wait, what's your name?" The man looked over his shoulder and met Antonio's green eyes with his own crimson ones.

"Gilbert." He took a deep breath. "Viel glück*. You are going to need it," and with that, the odd man known as Gilbert left the dungeon-like room and closed the door with a resounding thud. The sound of metal clicking into place had an air of finality to it that gave the Spaniard an odd feeling.

'_Something weird is about to happen. I can feel it.'_

* * *

**Date: December 2**

**Location: Disclosed**

"Lovi!" Lovino's head snapped up at the sound of his brother's excited voice coming from the doorway of his bedroom.

"What is it, Feli? Did I say you could come in?" Lovino let out a deep sigh as Feliciano fully entered the room and sat on his bed next to him. His brother was just so...happy almost all of the time. It tired Lovino out to just be around him for extended periods of time.

"Grandfather Roma just told me your assassin has woken up!'

"Wait, he just woke up? How hard did Ludwig hit him!?"

"Not that hard! Ludwig knows how to control his strength. Probably."

"Don't sound too sure of yourself, Feli. Remember when he almost accidentally knocked you off a balcony?"

"He was protecting me, and he didn't knock me off, so it's all okay. He even apologized!"

"Yeah, only after you started crying like a baby!"

"I was not crying like a baby!"

"Yes, you were!"

"No, I wasn't"

"Yes, you were!"

"No, I wasn't! And-and like you have room to talk! You started crying when they canceled that Spanish soap opera you liked so much!" Lovino gasped.

"You take that back." Lovino said in a deadly whisper.

"No! It's the truth." Lovino glared at Feli, making him gulp nervously."Any way I wasn't done with my message! Grandfather sai-"

"How come he couldn't tell me this himself?" Lovino internally cringed at how his voice sounded so bitter . He really shouldn't have been hurt that his grandfather had told Feli instead of speaking to him personally. He seemed to favor his younger brother over him, and that was just how it was.

"Oh, I just happen to run into him in the hallway! He said he was going to tell you, but he got called away on business, so he couldn't make it. Lovi, don't give me that look," Feliciano said in an almost scolding tone.

"What look?!"

"Like you are disappointed and sad. You always seem to get that way when we talk about grandfather."

"I do not!" Lovino said indignantly.

"Yes, you do! Don't even try to lie! I'm not oblivious, Lovi! I might not seem as observant as others, but I do notice things, especially when they involve you- my big brother!" Feli let out a huff. "I hate arguing, so don't you even try. Grandfather loves you just as much as he loves me. Just because I'm better at art and look a little more like him does not mean he likes me more!" Lovino grunted in disagreement, but didn't voice his protests. "Now, Grandfather also told me to tell you that you are in charge of the "prisoner". He said for you to assign who you wanted to 'take care of him'," Feli rolled his eyes, and Lovino let out a laugh, effectively breaking the strain between them.

"He's so cliché sometimes. I think he does it on purpose."

"You're probably right. I mean, he's more interested in art than violence, so I'm curious as to how he got into _this_ business."

"And to why he had dragged us into it as well," Lovino let out a sigh.

"I don't think he meant to. It's just the way things work, I'm pretty sure. I think-" A ringing cut off Feliciano in the middle of his sentence.

Reaching into his pockets, Feliciano pulled out a sleek Blackberry and answered it with a bright "Hello!". Lovino simply watched as his younger brother chattered on amiably with whoever was on the other end.

After a while, Feli finally ended the phone call with "Bye, a presto*".

"Who was that?"

"Ludwig! He made breakfast and wants me to try it!" Lovino let out a groan.

"Ugh, why do want to go and eat with that German asshole?" Feliciano laughed.

"He isn't that bad, Lovi, and you seem to like his brother just fine." Lovino scowled.

"Sure, he isn't," Lovino said with as much sarcasm as he could muster, "and I'm not a grumpy, loud 21-year-old. Furthermore, I wouldn't say I 'like' his brother; I'd say 'tolerate'."

"Yeah, whatever, Lovi," Lovino said, once again rolling his eyes. '_When did he start doing that so often?'_ "I'm going to go ahead and go." Feliciano stood up and headed towards the door.

"Wait! Contact Frying pan and Artisan for the 'taking care of'." Lovino called as his brother walked away.

"Why can't you call them?" Feli looked over shoulder with an eyebrow quirked.

"Don't look at me like that, you stronzo*! I don't have their numbers, and I know for a fact you do because you stayed with them for a while!" Feliciano giggled like a child.

"Alright, alright, I'll call them, fratello. Just don't burst a blood vessel." Lovino picked up his extra pillow and threw it as hard as he could at his brother, who- unfortunately, in Lovino's opinion- ducked.

"Next, it'll be a brick!" Lovino practically shouted.

"I'm going, I'm going. No need to be violent." With that, Feliciano left and let the door close with a loud thump, echoing in Lovino's large room.

'_He can be so irritating sometimes, but he is my little fratello. I trust him, but let's hope Frying pan and Artisan can do their jobs correctly. I heard they had some odd methods."_

* * *

**Translations:** Viel glück- Good luck; Stronzo- Asshole; Fratello\- brother; Bye, a presto\- Bye, see you soon

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you to those you faved, followed, and commented on the story so far! It means a lot to me, and I hope you like where the story is heading!


	3. Into the Frying Pan

_**Date: Unknown**_

_**Location: Dungeon of an Unknown Facility**_

_Clank, clank, clank._

_Well doesn't that sound ominous?_

The sound of metal against metal slowly got louder and louder until it sounded as if it was right outside the door. A sudden cacophonous "Bang!" directly outside the door shook the walls and caused Antonio to flinch.

Antonio watched with trepidation as the door opened slowly and two figures entered the dark room. From what Antonio could tell, one was a male and one a female. The woman carried something that looked startlingly like a frying pan and the man..._a violin?_

_What is with these people?_

"Good afternoon," the man said, his voice prim and poised, containing an accent Antonio couldn't place. He sounded more likely to be someplace quiet than in a dungeon.

" Good afternoon to you as well! Are you my…," Antonio lowered his voice to a conspiratory whisper, "torturers?" The man let out a deep sigh, as if he was beginning to gain a headache. However, it was the woman who spoke this time.

"I wouldn't say 'tortures'; I'd say 'information gatherers'," her voice was surprisingly gentle-almost kind- and also contained a mysterious accent, but had a slight steel edge. Antonio could tell she was dangerous and made a mental note to avoid angering her.

"Well, what is your technique to 'gathering information? Drowning? Suffocation? Burying me alive? Electric shocks? I've dealt with them all before. Not much can break me," Antonio said with a hint confidence in his voice. Whatever they put him through, he could handle it. No doubt his boss could do worse.

"We have some very special... methods. We are known for our unconventional yet productive techniques," the man started, his voice surprisingly dark. " I noticed you scoff sceptically at our instruments of torture, and I can't blame you. Most wouldn't believe how much damage a simple frying pan can accomplish, nor what good a violin could do, so I'm going to explain it. If there is one thing Elisabeth is known for, it's her strength. She has broken man after man with her knowledge of the weakest spots of the human body and how to hit them without killing the person. To put it simply, she physically weakens a person, making them call mercy after the blows they suffer. She breaks them into little pieces all over. She would do fine on her own, no doubt, but with my skill, we are extraordinarily effective." The man's eyes behind his glasses connect with Antonio's, stareing unflinchingly. "Ah, I can practically see the curiosity dripping off of you. Let me get one thing straight, music is a beautiful thing. Crescendos, decrescendos; fortissimos, pianos; acelerados, ritardandos; they all come together to form masterpieces that thrill and amaze people, delighting people's ears. However, they can do the opposite as well. Music can be torture in and of itself. It can be so loud, so high, so annoying it can literally bust a persons eardrums. It can play with a person's emotions, causing them to feel such extreme heartbreak, such tremendous sadness, such enormous hopelessness that they _wish_ they were dead. It can drive a person mad. _That's_ where I come in. I know music like I know the back of my hand. I know how to use it to it's greatest potential: good or bad. In this case, I will use it to break you mentally and emotionally just as Elisabeth with physically." Antonio gaped in shock.

_I'm in way over my head._

As 'Elisabeth' walked further into the room, the man closed the door, turned to the side of the doorway and began flicking unseen switches. A blinding light abruptly spotlighted Antonio, causing all of his surroundings to become a void. He couldn't see anything past a foot away from him, and he began to panic. He jumped when he felt cold fingers uncuff him, only to see pale fingers buckle his hands onto the arms of his chair. He pulled on the brown straps, but they didn't budge.

"Let's start with something simple: What's your name?" 'Elisabeth' spoke, her tone demanding.

"Antonio. Can I call you Lisa?" Antonio said with a charming smile.

"Sure, after you tell me your last name."

"Why would I tell you that? You'd be able to find out everything about me!"

"Because if you don't, I'm going to break your kneecaps."She sounded almost sinister.

"I don't know…" A sickening crunch resounded throughout the room, and Antonio gasped in agony as pain flared from his right knee.

"How about now? Do you know now?"

"C-carriedo. Antonio... Carriedo." Antonio said between labored pants. Sweat beaded on his temple, and his breathing was erratic.

_I have to calm down. I have to, _Antonio thought determinedly. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He repeated the process until he was breathing almost normally. His knee still throbbed excruciatingly, and Antonio thought it was broken.

"Now, why were you trying to kill Lovino?"

"It's my job; simple as that. I get an order, and I follow it out to receive my paycheck." Antonio shrugged his shoulders as best as he could.

"Who do you work for?"

"I can't tell you that."

"And why not?"

"Because they scare me more than you do." Suddenly, the cold metal of the frying pan was against Antonio's neck.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes." Antonio heard a sigh from somewhere in the room, but couldn't place the direction. Once again, a nauseating crack echoed off the cement walls, but this time the pain burst from his left knee. Antonio held back a scream as pain racked through his body. He knew for sure _that_ knee was broken, if not shattered.

"I'll ask you again: Who are you working for?" Her tone continued to more threatening.

"I-i'm not...I c-can't… tell you," Antonio managed between heaving breaths. She targeted his strapped left hand, and he felt his middle three fingers break and yelled in agony. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he tried to gain his composure. His breathing began to settle even though pain still flooded his body.

"I'm going to ask you one more time: Who. Is. Your. Boss," she said through clenched teeth.

"I-I'm never going...to tell you," Antonio said with renewed resolve as he glared into the darkness.

"Then you leave us no choice," the man said almost regretfully. "I really wished you hadn't made us do this. Elisabeth, put your headphones on."

"Headphones? W-why would...you need headphones?" His only answer was silence.

That is, until the music started.

It was unlike anything Antonio had experienced. The mournful notes filling the room caused Antonio anguish and misery unmatched by even his physical torment. His heart ached, and he felt defeated unequal to anything he had experienced before. He shook to the very core with grief. Loneliness washed over him like a wave, drowning him in it's depths. As the song went on and on, seeming like it would never end, tears began to flow down Antonio's face, and he trembled like a leaf in a thunderstorm. Just as he felt he was going puke, it stopped, leaving him a slumped, sweaty mess gasping for air.

"Are you going to tell us?" One of them yelled from the dark, but Antonio barely heard them. Instead of speaking, he shook his head slowly in negative. "Then you leave us with one last option. You have no one to blame but yourself," and with that, Antonio entered Hell.

The note was the definition of torment. It shrieked and squealed unnaturally high. So loud was it that it was a miracle no one else could hear it. No, Antonio was by himself in his own personalized Hell. He screamed as felt stabbing pains in his ears drums. With the greatest shot of pain, he lost hearing in his right ear, and blood began to drip from the ear canal, down his face and neck, and stain his shirt. Soon he lost his voice from his screaming, and began muttering over and over, almost mutely, "Never...I won't...Please stop…"

By the time the man finished playing the note, Antonio was barely conscious with limited hearing on his left side and none on his right. His shivering form was slumped, and his arms and hands slack. The shoulder of his shirt was stained red and damp from blood.

"Are you going to tell us?" The man entered Antonio's field of vision as he stepped into the light. He was dressed nicely, wearing a suit, dress shoes, and a tie. He didn't appear threatening in any way, but Antonio knew that looks were deceiving, especially from the performance the man had put on.

Antonio glanced up as best he could, and met the man's eyes for a brief second before looking away. His voiced no longer worked, and he had no strength left to move his head. His choice to stay quiet was the loudest answer he had given yet. The man raised his eyebrows his disbelief.

"Well, I guess an encore is in order." The man put back on his headphones, raised the violin to his neck, and closed his eyes in concentration. If possible, the note this time was even more agony-inducing than the one previous. Antonio convulsed once, before going completely limp in his chair.

Noticing this, Elisabeth tapped the man on the shoulder and when he opened his eyes, she directed him to stop playing and to take off his headphones. As he did so, she also took off her headphones and gave a quiet whistle.

"Roderich, he's out. I've got to say I'm impressed. He lasted way longer than any of the others we've dealt with. You think we should tell the boss?" she said as she checked Antonio's pulse to make sure he was still alive. Although his breathing was weak, his heartbeat was strong.

"I think that would be a good idea. He could be valuable in more ways than just information," Roderich said quietly.

"He's definitely strong; I'm rather surprised." Elisabeth said to herself. She grabbed Antonio's chin and lifted his face, "Attractive, too. Don't see cute hitman often these days."

"Come on, Elisabeth. We have to go make a report and get a doctor to check him out," Roderich said from the doorway, and Elisabeth dropped Antonio's chin. She quickly fled from the room with Roderich and headed upstairs, lost in thought.

_Yes, a man with the amount of fire he had in his eyes will be very, very useful indeed..._


	4. To Ruin a Date

**Date:December 3rd**

**Location: The bushes outside a cafe**

"Ow, Gilbert! Your elbow's in my side!" Lovino whispered, as he crouched behind thick leaves and thin branches with Gilbert.

"Oops, sorry!" Gilbert said a little too loudly for Lovino's liking. Lovino purposefully elbowed him.

"And we're both going to be sorry if we get caught, so keep it down, would'cha! We're trying to spy on our younger brothers, not broadcast our location to the world, idiot!" Lovino muttered, before turning his attention back to his younger brother, who was sitting at an iron table with _Ludwig_ of all people.

Lovino's mouth twisted with distaste. He had tried to persuade Feli not to go out to lunch with Ludwig, but oh no, Feli had to get all stubborn about it. "_I enjoy his company." _Feli had said_. 'Yeah, well, I enjoy him being about 203.34789 miles away from you,' Lovino internally stated in response. 'Looks like only one of us got what we wanted.' _Lovino let out a snort of discontentment and scowled. _Shouldn't the younger brother listen to the older one?_

Although, he did have to admit Feli seemed to be enjoying himself. He wore the brightest smile on his face, and his laugh could be heard even from their hiding spot a few yards away, behind a wall of shrubbery.

Lovino pushed a few more branches aside to get a better view of Feliciano's table, and almost screamed when Feliciano _held the German's hand. _Lovino nearly fell through the bushes, and he had to admit next time he did a stake-out, he _would not_ use shrubbery as a refuge, but for now he thought it would be okay. _What could go wrong now?_

The universe, ignoring the rhetorical pat of his question, decided Gilbert's obnoxiously resounding sneeze that silenced every sound around them but for Gilbert's contrastingly polite, "Excuse me," was the answer.

"Goddamnit, Gil," Lovino practically breathed.

"Bruder, is that you?" a serious voice questioned from somewhere on the side of the barricade of bush limbs, and Lovino eyes widened because _how could someone recognize a sneeze what the hell. _Gilbert muttered, "Shit," and Lovino nearly slapped himself.

To Lovino, there was three ways this could go. A, they could run as fast as possible and hope for escape. B, they could continue to hide in hopes that Ludwig nor Feli would not look behind the bushes. And C, cause an even bigger scene in hopes of distracting attention away from the fact they had been spying on their younger brothers.

Gilbert and Lovino shared a look, similar thoughts running through their heads. They each knew what they had to do- be as loud and as melodramatic as humanly possible.

Following his first instinct, Lovino shoved Gilbert through the thin shrubbery and into the clearing- no easy feat for someone of Lovino's stature, but he used Gilbert's surprise to his advantage. As Gilbert landed with a _thud_, and with a grunt, Lovino jumped over bushes and glared down at the man, his mouth set in a nasty sneer, shoulders straight, and hands clenched. All eyes in the vicinity turned towards them and widened in bewilderment. _Yes, good, it's working._

"You baffling, baboonish bastard! You can't just say things like that- especially if you're breaking up with them! You made her cry, and so you're going to pay big time! Stand and face me, coward!" Lovino declared loudly for all to hear. He felt his brother's eyes bore into the back of his skull and suppressed a shudder. He really hoped he didn't have fencing lessons with him anytime soon.

Lovino met Gilbert's crimson eyes and saw them widen, before lighting up with recognition of his plan. Gilbert stood slowly, brushing himself off as he did so. When he was finally steady on his feet, he straightened his back and tilted his chin up so he was looking down at Lovino, appearing presumptuous. Lovino nearly snorted at how silly that seemed to look on Gilbert, who was possibly the most goofy and arrogant person on the earth at times.

"What else was I supposed to say! 'I'm sorry I can't take you back after you _cheated on me with 3 different men'? _What else could I say besides, 'I have lost all interest in you, and ask you to never speak to me again'? I don't want to fight you, but I will if I have to!" Gilbert yelled back, words like poison. The by-standers at tables near them gasped in surprise, eyes growing larger. Some froze with their eating utensils halfway to their mouth.

Lovino tensed, preparing to tackle Gilbert, but was stopped as someone painfully grabbed his ear, pulling him towards Gilbert. Glancing sideways, he saw the culprit was no other than Feliciano, who appeared resolute- his eyes steel and mouth thin. Lovino gulped in fear, but when he saw Ludwig following behind his brother, he stuck his tongue out like a child. Gilbert's expression, upon seeing his brother, morphed into one almost resembling innocence.

"Bruder! What a surprise to see you here! I had no i-" Prussia's bright voice was cut off as Feliciano yanked Gilbert down by his ear as well and began leading them out of the café, all eyes upon them. "F-Feli! How nice to see you again! I m-mean, we haven't talked in such a long while! I was thinking-"

"Don't make me get my fencing sword, Gilbert." Feliciano glanced at Gilbert from the corner of his eye. Gilbert withered under his gaze and threat. Feliciano led the boys- not men to him at the moment- to a black coupe and ordered the boys into the back seat, before taking the passenger seat as Ludwig took the driver seat. Feliciano met both boys' eyes, and they shuddered. "We will talk at home."

* * *

"I can't believe you two did that! Actually, I can believe Lovi would, but you, Gil? I expected better!" Feliciano ranted as he paced the length of his room. Gilbert visibly shrunk in his spot next to Lovino on Lovino's bed. Ludwig stood next to the door, watching with piercing eyes. "Why would you spy on us?! Don't you have better things to do with your time?" He stopped pacing, and stared at the men sitting on his bed, waiting for them to answer.

"I don't trust that German jerk. I'm just protecting you Feli!" Lovino said earnestly, and Feliciano's eyes softened slightly. Feliciano turned to Gilbert.

"And you?"

"I wanted to make sure everything went smoothly. You know how awkward and stiff Ludwig can be," Ludwig let out a huff from besides the door, "and I wanted to prevent it from being an awkward date. I didn't want Luddy to screw up his relationship with one of my favorite Italians." Gilbert said sincerely, gaze pleading for forgiveness as they flicked from Feliciano's eyes to Ludwig's. Finally, Feliciano's eyes softened all the way, and his previous tense shoulders relaxed. Ludwig sighed in defeat.

"Fine, I forgive you. Just don't spy on us again, alright? It's creepy and an invasion of privacy! Right, Ludwig?" Feli looked back at the tall man who nodded his head in confirmation. Lovino let out a grunt of agreement as Gilbert nodded eagerly, resembling a puppy wagging its tail in excitement.

"Feliciano, we have work to do." Ludwig finally spoke, his voice quiet. Feliciano let out a peppy, "Yep, let's go!" and with a brilliant smile led Ludwig from the room after everybody said their goodbyes. The door closed with an almost silent click, and Gilbert flopped into a laying position, messing up Lovino's many fluffy pillows.

"Hey! Be careful with those!" Lovino yelped as he barely saved one of his favorites from falling off the bed. He brought the pillow to his chest and hugged it tightly to his chest, head resting on top. "Are you actually going to stop spying on them?" Lovino asked with a quirked brow.

"Of course not. I hate to lie to Feli, but if I don't watch them, Ludwig might embarrass himself," Gilbert said, rolling his eyes.

"I hope he does."

"No, do not hope that. Just because you are a little ball of anger doesn't mean you have to wish your misery onto others." Lovino opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn't formulate an intelligent response.

"I don't want him to be miserable; I want him to be happy," Lovino practically sighed.

"And Ludwig makes him feel that way. Just _try_ to tolerate him," Gilbert gave an encouraging nod. "Hey, one day you'll meet your prince charming who makes you feel all gushy and gooey inside. How would you feel if Feli acted like he hated the guy's guts?"

"Oh, whatever. First off, Feli could probably never hate anybody, and second, I don't have a 'prince charming'." Lovino scoffed.

" You will! Give it some time! He'll be taller than you, and have pretty green eyes, and be tough and strong, and have nice hair." Gilbert's eyes held a twinkle. _That can't mean anything good._

"Sounds like you already have someone picked out for me."

"Yes, I do."

"Who?" Lovino asked skeptically.

"I'm not telling you." Gilbert said with a cheeky grin. Lovino shoved him of the bed, and heard him groan in pain. Lovino giggled.

"Don't be a shithead, Gil."


End file.
